// You changed my life, now I believe that love is all, that I’ll ever need. //
Yours Forever: Dara Maclean
Priority begins with you and Him, then you and them.
This is a heavy-hitting topic, but one that is so dear to my heart. This is a 5th Thursday which means there is a single topic we get to talk about! This week we are talking about the waiting season in love.
What’d he just say?
I am no master of relationships. What I am is a work in progress of maintaining my relationship with the King. That may sound confusing. But I’ll explain. This post is one of the most vulnerable posts I’ve made in a while.
Fighting for affection.
In your life, there are people who come and go. Some stay longer than others. Some stay way too long. We live in a culture that promotes the term “hook-up” pressure for a “now relationship.” We have microwave marriages with toxic endings. It’s not just one generation. It’s across the board. The young and the old. Everyone wants somebody to love. When that love is not met we compromise and sink in our values. We sink in our self-esteem.
Broken and Compromised.
I’ve never been the most athletic. I’ve never been the popular kid. To be honest I was an outsider with sweet dimples and a giant heart to love. Growing up people started playing house and starting families. I was the hermit under the bridge, the unkissed frog, the happily never after.
It does something to you as a kid. Not only girls, but guys can feel it too. Let me repeat. GUYS CAN FEEL TOO. Middle school wasn’t a swim in the pool. The odds of girls to guys 5:1, or like my 8th-grade year 7:1. A Casanova’s paradise. This is where I really started to pursue a girl. It didn’t mean I was a pro. But what I’ve come to find it’s where you learn to accept rejection.
King of rejection.
Rejection is a force of the enemy that makes you feel so bad about yourself you try to grab onto hope where it may be. By my sophomore year, I was a pro at the rejection game. I lost confidence in asking a girl out. I lost my standards for what I want in a girl.
That’s right! We can have standards for our future spouse. Which standards are up to you. But the standards I chose to let go where the Godly kind. I knew I wanted a girl to love Jesus. I wanted her to like me. That’s probably as far as I set my standards but I let those go as well. I wanted someone to fight for. Notice I became the word. I was willing to enter a relationship that was focused on the other person making them my everything. I compromised God.
Finally, I asked one last girl. Someone I thought would never say no. But I got a no. I hit rock bottom of my love life. I put love in front of my academics, in front of reality. I was putting love in all the wrong places. My eyes were focused on something God had not prepared me for. I was trying to make it happen. In the end, I ended up hurting myself to a deep level.
The day I woke up was a beautiful day. I realized where I was going. I hadn’t been going to church for the right reasons. But I knew Jesus had promised. So after that last rejection, I made a vow. I abstained or not date until He released me or set Mrs. Right in front of me with a bow.
I didn’t think I could make a vow like that. But I put God to the test. I refocused on school work. Relationships with friends. I even joined a sports team. I lived a life focused on living life. Yes, everyone around me dated. But I began to feel like myself for the first time in forever. I found love in a man named Jesus.
I made that vow in 2009, 7 years later I was in college and He released me. I learned so much in the waiting. I learned who I was. I learned I am more than enough. I learned more than words could say. I rededicated my life. I made Jesus my priority in all that I did. In those 7 years, I definitely had opportunities to stray and break the vow. My eyes were on the King. I knew my wife was worth the wait.
I am still single. I still have friends dating, married, and with kids. I could go back to thinking about them. But I would lose myself. With my eyes on the king, I get to chose the path I walk. To be spirit led. I still attempt to know girls I want to pursue. But when I’m rejected I don’t receive it. I take it as a growing opportunity. I bless them and move on. MOVE ON.
Jesus is our example of a single life. Some are meant to be single. Some are meant for marriage. Some are meant for somewhere in-between. But what we can’t do is tear down others for the season of relationship they are in. You don’t know their journey. You haven’t walked in their shoes. Learn to love. LOVE IS MORE THAN ENOUGH.
Open Da Book.
This section I’m placing some scriptures for what has given me life for in the waiting.
“When You said, “Seek My face,” My heart said to You, “Your face, LORD, I will seek.”
Psalms 27:8 NKJV
“And she conceived again and bore a son, and said, “Now I will praise the LORD.” Therefore she called his name Judah. Then she stopped bearing.”
Genesis 29:35 NKJV
(there is a whole story behind Leah, that I’ll speak on at a later date.)
“Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the LORD your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.”
Deuteronomy 31:6 NKJV
“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.”
Jeremiah 29:11-13 NKJV
“Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?”
II Corinthians 6:14 NKJV
These are just a few. There have been so many in different parts. These were just a few that stuck out.
Join us next week as our June series begins. I’ll probably go more in-depth than a single post. I’m super excited for what’s coming. A shift is on the rise.
Hello friends, I’m Marco. I’m an RN, & founder of Four Winds, a ministerial blog.
I have a heart for this generation to know who they are & whose they are. I also contend for revival to cover college campuses. As well as preach the word until every nation has heard. Sharing Jesus with all, & showing the love that was once shown me.